Why Self-Care Is Not Selfish...
"I am guilty of falling into the 'self-care IS selfish' trap... BUT I am reformed and here to set you free!"
How many times do we refrain from doing something simply because we are worried it will not be the most efficient use of our time? I can think of hundreds of instances where this has happened to me! I am guilty of falling into the “self-care IS selfish” trap ... BUT I am reformed and here to set you free!
Let’s break down that statement for a moment. What is the definition of selfish? According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of selfish is being “concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others”. Now that we cleared that up, where do we stand?
Obviously, being concerned with anything excessively or exclusively is bad for our mental and emotional health. However, being concerned excessively about your own well-being and mental stability, sounds like you are just looking out for yourself. The most important thing that jumps off the page for me is when the definition says “without regard for others”. If you are leaving everyone else in the dust, you are doing yourself a disservice.
"If we do not give ourselves the proper attention, we cannot be who we have always wanted to be. "
Self-care is about celebrating who you are and preserving the love and energy you have for yourself. If we do not give ourselves the proper attention, we cannot be who we have always wanted to be. Our lives turn into a hamster wheel in which our goal becomes catching up instead of moving up.
Something that comes up a lot in my sessions is this idea of clients doing more for the important people in their lives. The problem is that you cannot pour from an empty cup. You have to fill your own cup up to the top first and allow it to overflow to your loved ones. You have to take care of yourself first, love yourself first, respect yourself first, and make yourself feel worthy first before you can do that for anyone else. This manifests in relationships, careers, and in many other aspects of life.
In conclusion, self-care is doing something for yourself WITH regard for others. By taking time for yourself you are becoming a better mother, a better colleague, an enhancement to society and most importantly a better version of yourself. You are worth it and you were made for a very specific purpose! Now it is time to take care of yourself.